😏😏😏😏

😏😏😏😏

So last year this guy hit me up on Tagged (old dating site fyi). So the guy had been trying to meet up and get my number for about a year prior, but due to my social awkwardness I had been avoiding him. So finally one day he asked for my number and I gave it to him. We started texting and eventually set up a time to meet. It just so happened that he only lived a few mins away, so one day he came over and we just walked around my neighborhood talking for hours. So a pattern of texting everyday and seeing eachother almost everyday was created. About one month in he was already telling me how much he cared about me…I mean when I asked him about how he felt he would just blush and smile and try his hardest to put together full sentences. He was in love with me.…..I hadn’t gotten there yet…I could very clearly see that he was all I wanted but my past has caused me so much pain I’m always so scared to take the chances to trust people and let them get close to me. Over time I opened up to him and him to me, were became so close….it was the happiest I have ever been.

I fell head over hills in love with him….I mean going out of my way to see him almost losing friends because I gave all my time to him…I even wrote about him and let him read it we had started trying to have a child together…we already had names picked out neighborhood . Serious shit for two people who weren’t even in a relationship. But anyway he eventually told me that he was still involved with one of his ex’s but assured me that I was the one he wanted and he only saw her when she took him to work…which I believed…I mean he spent all his time with me he had no time to see her. I had no real problem with what he told me because we were never officially together..so I feel he could do what he wanted. So after his confession I assured him I wasnt going anywhere and that he was the only one who had my heart.

But eventually text started slowing down….and trying to visit him or get him to come see me was like pulling teeth. So I’m not a nosy person or a snooper but when I miss people I tend to look at their IG or Facebook to see what they have been up to and just to see their faces..it make me feel better…like reading old text messages. Anyway, I went to his IG and I see a girl comment on one of his pics calling him baby earlier and he responded but I hadn’t heard from him in over a 3days since we had plans to see each other and he didn’t show up. So I go to her page and I see all this “my mce ” this “and you have my heart” that……but what got me was the fact that she said they were trying to have a baby.

I mean if he wanted to talk to other people that was fine…just don’t come to me saying it’s Nothing serious when clearly that was a lie. Anyway I confronted him about it and got hit with a, “Why are you on her page”. I was so done I didn’t speak to him for about another week. He called me out of the blue trying to explain what happened. I cried so hard on the phone with him that day….I felt like I had been stabbed in the heart and been told to suck it up. I thought my search was over….he was everything I wanted and what hurt the most was the fact that I didn’t fall until he told me he would always be there to catch me….and there I was laying on the ground by myself again. So we tried that whole friend thing but every time we saw eachother we had sex….and.it was so passionate since we weren’t supposed to be doing it and it was always 2 to 3weeks span between us seeing each other so we always missed each other…. eventually I stopped caring about the fact that he had someone…. every visit with him left me so confused because i was always hearing things like “I still want you to have my child ” “I still love you and Nothing will change that” “I want you in my life forever”…..coming from him….the guy with a gf….but when we were apart I saw the opposite. But man I swear that had to be the most horrible time of my life all I did was work and get high to keep the thought of him out of my head. I was so depressed I cried myself to sleep everynight…when I could sleep waking up.calling out his name…. with my pillows soaked, throbbing headaches just to do it all again the next day. And nobody knew. With time I didn’t see him as much and that was fine I started to move on and I met someone new. Every now and then he would come back in my life and talk about how he wanted to fix things and apologizing for what happened but he always went ghost again. But this last time he came and confidied in me how he was ending it with her because she was cheating on him and how he was so sorry for hurting me and that he realized I was the person he should have been with.and how he wanted me to give him a chance to fix it . I accepted his apology but I couldn’t promise him another chance because honestly my feelings have changed… and they should when all you see when you look at someone is the bullshit and lies you had to deal with because of them. Soooooooo it’s been a few days and I missed him…..so to IG I go to like some of his pics hoping he would hit me up and what do I see……his “cheating” ex’s name all up in his Bio… I know that sounds really childish but it wasn’t there before he made a point to show it to me after they broke up……I’m kind of upset because I feel like at this point Why is he still lying to me…..I was literally the side bitch……you don’t lie to the side bitch you lie to your main bitch Lol. But it’s cool I was definitely about to tell him I couldn’t make it work and that I had moved on but he just made it easier for me…just had to tell this story even if nobody reads it….it is off my chest now… and this chapter can officially be closed.

I’m so done with him……like I’m absolutely finished bruh

OK I’m done…..the mirrors at my aunt’s house are just so percect lol

OK I’m done…..the mirrors at my aunt’s house are just so percect lol

Why you gotta be so rude???

Why you gotta be so rude???

👋👋👋👋

👋👋👋👋

Today was the best ❤❤

Today was the best ❤❤

We were cute or whatever

We were cute or whatever

🔥🔥💨💨

🔥🔥💨💨

😳😳

😳😳

OMG the rainbow 😊😍

OMG the rainbow 😊😍

Where have you been all my lifeeee?? 👀👀

Where have you been all my lifeeee?? 👀👀

Yesterday was a good day ^_^

Yesterday was a good day ^_^

Hey sweet thang😉😘

Hey sweet thang😉😘

I don’t want nobody else, baby all I need is you !

I don’t want nobody else, baby all I need is you !